[ If only they had access to healing magic, this wouldn't be an issue, but of course the Realm would never be so kind.
Jeanne's eyes widen before her expression turns grave. That they had to fight each other, that it had to end with death, however impermanent, sits heavy with her. She likes this place less and less.
She closes her eyes briefly. ]
That must have been very difficult for her.
[ Hadn't she said something about wanting to be a hero in public? Hadn't her idea of being a hero been more of the idealistic kind?
She doesn't think it isn't difficult for Chiron either, but it is something not so novel for him, terrible as it is. ]
As well as for you. Do you think this is something that was induced by the Realm?
... Yes, it was difficult for her. Had I been quicker to make my choice, I could have spared her the pain.
[Bowing his head as if in shame] Now it's hers to carry.
[The simple truth of it, even as Chiron admits his faults and his wishes. Killing the two had been... uncomfortable, perhaps, but not a sin that the centaur will carry like a wound. For a Servant who is used to war, the discomfortable will be easy to shake off.
Which is why he will focus on Ruler's last question, thoughtful]
I am hesitant to assume so, though that is the most likely conclusion -- ah, here.
[There's a reason that he has never offered his own thoughts first on the matter, wanting to instead hear what others might say]
Either a previous contest, or the memories of our Leaders are damaged to a level I was not anticipating... but it is still more likely the former, given that we have not been here long.
[...]
Regardless, I've noted that it might be possible to ask to see their faces without penalty. They could even be someone we know of.
[ She thinks about it for a moment longer. If this is something that's repeated, it truly is not unlike a Holy Grail War, and that is something she can't decide if she likes or not. It'd be so much easier, if she could simply be Ruler here, but she can't. ]
Asking won't hurt, but I might ask them what rules they have to follow first.
... I should have thought to ask them that earlier.
[ Her brows knit, almost as a reflection or perhaps in reflection. ]
I think I am missing some information of the modern world that the Holy Grail would have provided. There is... something in the kitchen that eludes me.
[it is why she's only finding out about this now, truthfully. If he thought she'd be able to assist, he would have asked for it, but a dead memory will not hold much weight for him besides satisfying a curiosity.
... perhaps another day. In the end, he can only keep his eyes forward. He is a dead man, after all. Some would say his memories have no weight to begin with]
I mention this only so you will take further heed. Some suggested the lost memories would increase in importance, but for me, that has been true from the start.
[ How much weight his second life has is something he should choose. Servants are transient beings summoned to help the living, but it is still a life. ]
It would have been nice for a little consistency, but that would be hoping for too much, wouldn't it? Thank you for telling me, Archer.
I have worried... if I lost something integral to me how much I would change. How much I could change.
[ But Archer still seems steady. Or maybe Chiron just hasn't let her see much otherwise. ]
It seems he... has more than one reason for seeking her out, and though there's a brief flash of a smile, it doesn't reach his eyes]
Should I lose the memory of my death in the War, there is a chance, however slight, that I will prioritize myself over others -- in order to return to a world that will not greet me.
[Ruler is unique in that regard, but "Archer" is not. Just as he told Achilles, they were both summoned because their souls were still burdened with lingering regrets. Maybe he can't recall that wish any longer, but Chiron has his suspicions... and he knows how selfish he can sometimes be]
... Forgive me for asking this of you, Ruler, but if you could ensure I do not stray from this path... I've already asked another, just in case, but I suspect I would need the both of you to keep me in line.
[ She nods, after a moment. She cannot deny that Chiron has a wish and that he fought for the intent of having it granted. She knows he is levelheaded and pragmatic (that he has already logically concluded what could make him shift is proof), but it is through his lens of the world.
They all view the world through their own lens, and she has faith that Chrion knows himself most. ]
Of course. [ She's not sure it's in her purview as Ruler specifically, but as the Servant Jeanne d'Arc, she would. ] I will do my best, if it comes to that.
[ She is not going to pretend that Chiron isn't smarter than she is, but Jeanne can likely out stubborn him. Maybe. ]
If I could ask the same, if I ever lost my love for humanity or... if I didn't remember my family, I have wondered if I wouldn't become more like what people expected, of those who aren't as quick to call me holy.
[ Full of regrets and resentment. Full of anger and hatred. ]
I would ask that you keep me in check, please, should I need it.
[It's actually a relief to know that he can repay her assistance, even in this way. Chiron doesn't think himself a mountain by any means -- he can be conquered, he can fall. It's why left to his own devices, he knows he might stray off-course.
So there's a grateful smile on his face when she accepts, and then a slight bow of agreement when she asks the same favor of him]
[ Ruler believes there are some things she should stand alone on, but for this, equivalent exchange is wiser. Jeanne off the string, what sins will she commit? They are both Servants that others look to for different reasons, but it's because of that, they need to be kept in check if they falter.
Her smile is a reflection of his. ]
I feel as if it bears repeating, but I am grateful that you are here.
[ Even if she wouldn't want anyone to be here, if it it had to be any Servants from the Great Holy Grail War, she's grateful it's Chiron. ]
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antaressnipe) wrote2020-09-25 05:07 pm
no subject
Jeanne's eyes widen before her expression turns grave. That they had to fight each other, that it had to end with death, however impermanent, sits heavy with her. She likes this place less and less.
She closes her eyes briefly. ]
That must have been very difficult for her.
[ Hadn't she said something about wanting to be a hero in public? Hadn't her idea of being a hero been more of the idealistic kind?
She doesn't think it isn't difficult for Chiron either, but it is something not so novel for him, terrible as it is. ]
As well as for you. Do you think this is something that was induced by the Realm?
no subject
[Bowing his head as if in shame] Now it's hers to carry.
[The simple truth of it, even as Chiron admits his faults and his wishes. Killing the two had been... uncomfortable, perhaps, but not a sin that the centaur will carry like a wound. For a Servant who is used to war, the discomfortable will be easy to shake off.
Which is why he will focus on Ruler's last question, thoughtful]
I am hesitant to assume so, though that is the most likely conclusion -- ah, here.
[Pulling out his device and showing Ruler this]
At the end of our journey, we found this document as well as a few items with special abilities. Please, tell me what your thoughts are.
no subject
[ Even if Ochako is young and even if it wouldn't be wrong to spare her that pain, respecting her desire to save is also not wrong.
She focuses on what he shows her, though, her brows furrowing in thought. ]
That seems like... a previous contest.
[ That's an unsettling thought. ]
We haven't been here long enough for this to make sense. Or perhaps I'm missing something to make it make sense to be about us as we are currently.
[ With their memories being taken, as they are. ]
no subject
[There's a reason that he has never offered his own thoughts first on the matter, wanting to instead hear what others might say]
Either a previous contest, or the memories of our Leaders are damaged to a level I was not anticipating... but it is still more likely the former, given that we have not been here long.
[...]
Regardless, I've noted that it might be possible to ask to see their faces without penalty. They could even be someone we know of.
no subject
Asking won't hurt, but I might ask them what rules they have to follow first.
... I should have thought to ask them that earlier.
no subject
[But assuming won't get them answers, so--]
We can reconvene and share what we know... and -- Ruler?
[A pause as his brows knit]
Do you know what memories you might have lost so far?
no subject
[ Her brows knit, almost as a reflection or perhaps in reflection. ]
I think I am missing some information of the modern world that the Holy Grail would have provided. There is... something in the kitchen that eludes me.
[ As for her second one, she has no idea yet. ]
no subject
[So.
A bit more heavy in terms of what has been stolen from him.]
no subject
quite important, yes.
It stuns her for a moment. She realizes anything could be taken, but some things are quite integral, and she remembers how Chiron was with Fiore. ]
You never told me your wish, but the way this place works, even if I tried to remind you of your Master...
[ How very terrible. ]
no subject
[it is why she's only finding out about this now, truthfully. If he thought she'd be able to assist, he would have asked for it, but a dead memory will not hold much weight for him besides satisfying a curiosity.
... perhaps another day. In the end, he can only keep his eyes forward. He is a dead man, after all. Some would say his memories have no weight to begin with]
I mention this only so you will take further heed. Some suggested the lost memories would increase in importance, but for me, that has been true from the start.
no subject
It would have been nice for a little consistency, but that would be hoping for too much, wouldn't it? Thank you for telling me, Archer.
I have worried... if I lost something integral to me how much I would change. How much I could change.
[ But Archer still seems steady. Or maybe Chiron just hasn't let her see much otherwise. ]
no subject
[Ah.
It seems he... has more than one reason for seeking her out, and though there's a brief flash of a smile, it doesn't reach his eyes]
Should I lose the memory of my death in the War, there is a chance, however slight, that I will prioritize myself over others -- in order to return to a world that will not greet me.
[Ruler is unique in that regard, but "Archer" is not. Just as he told Achilles, they were both summoned because their souls were still burdened with lingering regrets. Maybe he can't recall that wish any longer, but Chiron has his suspicions... and he knows how selfish he can sometimes be]
... Forgive me for asking this of you, Ruler, but if you could ensure I do not stray from this path... I've already asked another, just in case, but I suspect I would need the both of you to keep me in line.
no subject
They all view the world through their own lens, and she has faith that Chrion knows himself most. ]
Of course. [ She's not sure it's in her purview as Ruler specifically, but as the Servant Jeanne d'Arc, she would. ] I will do my best, if it comes to that.
[ She is not going to pretend that Chiron isn't smarter than she is, but Jeanne can likely out stubborn him. Maybe. ]
If I could ask the same, if I ever lost my love for humanity or... if I didn't remember my family, I have wondered if I wouldn't become more like what people expected, of those who aren't as quick to call me holy.
[ Full of regrets and resentment. Full of anger and hatred. ]
I would ask that you keep me in check, please, should I need it.
no subject
[It's actually a relief to know that he can repay her assistance, even in this way. Chiron doesn't think himself a mountain by any means -- he can be conquered, he can fall. It's why left to his own devices, he knows he might stray off-course.
So there's a grateful smile on his face when she accepts, and then a slight bow of agreement when she asks the same favor of him]
I will do all I can to help you remain yourself.
no subject
Her smile is a reflection of his. ]
I feel as if it bears repeating, but I am grateful that you are here.
[ Even if she wouldn't want anyone to be here, if it it had to be any Servants from the Great Holy Grail War, she's grateful it's Chiron. ]